She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
