I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
