I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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