Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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