Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
