I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
