ya dads aren't the best wingmen
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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