Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
