I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if only i could text you this smell
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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