I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
