my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
