What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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