I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
