I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize