And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
