I want to walk on stilts...naked
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
