We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
