that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize