fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
