So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Randomize
