i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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