it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
