She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
