His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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