So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
