i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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