why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
