Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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