This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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