Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
