Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
