i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
