Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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