Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize