I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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