I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You ruined the universe
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
