well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
