He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
