Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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