i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
