somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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