Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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