just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize