I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
