He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize