More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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