He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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