i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
