therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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