Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
