glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
