the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
