I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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