His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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