So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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