we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
