I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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