I wanna passion pit in your ass
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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