Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He felt like a one man threesome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
