Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom

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(864): View more from South Carolina

turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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(563): View more from Iowa

What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?

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(407): View more from Florida

It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.

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(361): View more from Texas

I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"

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(870): View more from Arkansas

If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.

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